According to Wikipedia, “parenting or child rearing promotes and supports the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood”. Parenting refers to the intricacies of raising a child and not exclusively for a biological relationship (Wikipedia).
Parenting is not something people are taught before they begin the journey but it is one of the most important aspects of character formation impacted by the parents or guardian on a child. Even though some may say nobody is ever ready for parenting, I believe deliberate efforts can be made by aspiring or young parents to learn from the experience of older parents.
Two essential elements of family life — marriage and parenthood — reveal God’s character like nothing else in Creation. The love between a husband and wife provides a glimpse of Christ’s passionate devotion to us as His bride. In the same way, the ups and downs of parenthood offer a compelling picture of God’s tenderness and patience toward us as His children. Hence preparation ought to be made towards marriage and parenting just as we prepare for a successful career. As the saying goes, “when we fail to prepare, we prepare to fail”. Parenting is not really about perfection but about intentionality and consistency.
God desires us to pay attention to raising the children in our care in His way, Deuteronomy 6:6-7, “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up “. Here we can see that it is not enough for parents to leave the responsibility of teaching their children the word of God solely to schoolteachers and religious leaders. We should be role models to our children and so it is important that we live out what we want to teach them.
Some say that more attention is usually given to the female children during their formative years than male children in some homes. This is evident in homes where the girl child does house chores while the male children are not taught basic skills like doing dishes, washing clothes and cooking. In some homes, boys are allowed to stay out late while girls have curfew. This in turn may translate to the way the boys behave when they grow older and become men who have families.
In our world today, some parents believe that disciplining a child now is more difficult than it was several years ago while others have decided to spare the rod owing to the kind of strict upbringing they had which has created childhood trauma and scars. Proverbs 29:17 says “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire”. Proverbs 29:15 “A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother” .Children by default are born with a mechanism of foolishness and they must be corrected by corporal punishments for them to discover wisdom and succeed in life. Wisdom is the principal thing, the power of right judgment. Discerning the correct thing to do in any situation. Children come forth as simple, ignorant beings and must be taught tasks. Reproof is warnings against wrong conducts. If these approach of child training are ignored, the child will grow to be a pain and disgrace to its parents. Proverbs 13:24 says “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them”. The right use of reproof and the rod will produce wisdom.
When is the ideal time to start? Proverbs 22:6 says “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” There are exceptions to this observation, but generally, where there is a good training, the impressions of it do not easily diminish nor do men ordinarily renounce a good way they have been brought up in; and, however, when, being come to years of maturity and comprehension, their hearts are seasoned with the grace of God, they are then enabled to put that in practice which before they had only in theory, and so continue in the paths of truth and holiness.
Hebrews 12:11 “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” Your children will grow up to appreciate you for instilling Godly principles into them.
Are you a young or aspiring parent? What measures would you establish to be a better parent? Shalom.
By Sis. Helen Egwu